ethnic purple

I can finally blog using my samsung note.
So much easier.
Gonna blog about many stuff soon!

Lets make it a lil special this year.
Im gonna post about my Best Friend Forever, Ms Siti Syahidah

She’s been there for me since the sec school days.
We shared every little secrets.
We  laugh and cried together.

We did ‘stupid’ things together.
We tried doing everything a teenager would do.
We had fun together during those days.

And we saw each other grow older
She was there by my side on my engagement day
She was there when i was doing my wedding preparation.
She was there with me on my solemnisation day and wedding day.
I can see from her eyes that she is sooo happy for me.
To quote what she said to me on that day ” seeing you being solemnised and got married, is like sending you away” *tears*

and after i gave birth, she came with her bf and bring Fida’iy a big big prezzie!
guess what? our dreamm Red Quinny stroller(!!!)

Thank you for everything Syahidah.
We are 26 this year.
But i can still recall us at our 14.

Happy 26th Birthday day.
May Allah blessed your life with happiness and good health.
May our friendship lasts forever. Amin!
And i wish your love with your Mr Sufiyan lasts till eternity.

I love you!

I personally think it is not easy being a mum.
That is why we have to treasure our mum the most.
Only after i am a mother myself, i realised that there is so much things we mothers have to sacrifice.

 Sacrifices started once you are pregnant. |
The morning sickness, the headaches, the discomfort, the backaches, for the whole of 9 mths,
its already so much of sacrifices.
But it doesnt just stop there.

Once the baby is born, more sacrifices needed.
Baby wakes up every 2 hrs at night.
And even cries non-stop. Of course they are crying for a reason.
Its either they want milk, they wanna sleep, pampers need to be changed and sometimes they are having stomach discomfort.
But when they cry, as a mum, i have to figure out what is it that he wants.
Its kind of tiring u noe.

but i am learning everyday. “
i think i can handle my baby better now. Im getting to know him better.

That memorable day was on 26th December 2011.
He is the most precious thing i ever had.
I feel so blessed to have him in my life.

Here’s the labour story of him, my baby..

On 25th Dec (Christmas Day), around 1pm, i was feeling some kind of pain.
I dunno if that is contraction or is it just a braxton hicks that i’ve been experiencing all this while.
And so i waited longer.
The husband keep pestering me by asking if i want to head to the hospital.
But i kept saying, “wait first”.

At about 7pm, the pain got stronger and stronger.
Husband was sleeping at that time.
I got no choice but to wake him up and asked him to send me to hospital.
I think im contracting already.

Reached KKH at about 10pm.
went straight to level 2 to the Delivery Suite.
VE was done on me. The nurse was such an asshole.
I dunno what the hell she is doing.
She actually put her whole hand in me and pushes her hand very roughly!
VERY PAINFUL!
I mean VE was ever done on me. And its not that painful!
She must be some inexperienced nurse there.

After the check was done, she told me i was only 1cm dilated.

I can choose to go back home and come back the next day or got myself warded.
I told the husb, i rather be warded. coz we may not know how fast i will be dilating.
And i think being at home dilating and handling the contractions at home is quite dangerous and uncomfortable.

So i was warded that day.
Husband cannot stay. Coz i was warded into B2+.
No one in the ward except me.
Its so scary, really.
lucky i was in deep pain, if not i would have freak out staying in that ward all alone.
I cant sleep. contraction is soo painful. Its by far the worst pain i ever felt.
and i keep going to the toilet. its very uncomfortable.
and the ward nurse came up to me and say ” why are you not sleeping? people like us(nurses working night shift) wants to sleep cannot sleep.You are given a bed to sleep and you are not sleeping”
NI LAGI SATU NAK KENE MAKI DGN AKU.
I was in pain how to sleep idiot.
if i want to sleep, i rather sleep at home! irrit pe nurses ni sume. grr!

I beared the pain till the next morning.
At 7am, a doc do a VE check on me and i was 3cm dilated.

“You are progressing” he said
” we’ll send you to the labour ward now”
My heart was pounding real fast.
But at the same time im excited to give birth. lol.
I cant wait to see my baby!

Text husb that i will be shifted to labour ward Delivery Suite no 22.

I was made to wear a white bare-back ‘dress’.
but actually i think there’s no motive wearing that.
At the end of the day, i was like naked on the bloody bed. hahaha!

At 9.30 am, gynae burst my waterbag.
The liquid that gushed out of me was green-yellowish colour.
Then the gynae told me, the baby already poo-ed inside.
She needs me to deliver the baby very soon coz its definitely not good if the baby accidentally swallowed his own waste.
So i was induced. And they keep on increasing the dosage so that i could dilate faster.
OMG! as they keep on increasing the dosage, the pain got stronger.

At 11am, the contraction was every 5 mins and last for 30secs.. ( still ok)
I tried to be strong to bear the pain. Coz i told myself, no epidural.
But at 2pm, the pain was like  every 3 mins and last for 1 min.
Oh dear. i was crying and told the husb i cant the stand the pain.
I was shaking the bed everytime the contraction comes.  hahaha!
I used laughing gas at first. But its not helping, AT ALL!
it just makes me get more sleepy and weak but the pain never go away!

My mid-wife, a young girl, Hafizah
She’s very skillful and caring.
She told me, they will keep on increasing the dosage.
From how i was reacting, she say i will definitely not stand the pain later on.
and if i were to take epidural, i have to react fast coz when they are doing the procedures of inserting the epidural needle, i cant move and stay like a statue;) (even if the contraction comes, i have to stay still)
Mampos! told you, i was shaking the bed everytime contraction comes, and now they ask me to stay still.
But since i cannot tahan eh..i decided to take epi lor! They asked me to sign that whatever paper.
I didnt even care to read.
The doc came and did the insertion of epidural needle for me.
I stayed still. i was holding to the laughing gas equipment. They told me when contraction comes, breathe in the laughing gas and bear the pain. breathing techniques comes lor.
Finally, the epidural needle was successfully inserted in my back(near the spine).

after that, i dont feel the pain anymore! awesome. and i was not numb. thats good!
wonders of Epidural eh.

At 6pm, the machine that monitors the baby’s heartbeat produces a different sound.
i asked the husb what happened? why the sound so awkward.
Suddenly my gynae rushed in and check.
She told me the baby’s heartbeat was dropping.
I cannot wait anymore and will be send for caesarean.
They did a VE check on me, i was 7 cm dilated.
they gave me another 30mins. If im not dilating any further, i will be pushed to the operating theater.
I was crying with the husband. We are afraid we might lose our baby.
Husband was worried if i were to be ‘cut’ too.

FInally at 6.20pm, they did a VE check again, i was 9cm dilated.
My gynae said, she will need me to give it a try to push.
She’ll try her best to make me deliver normally(vaginal).
And suddenly, theres like 5 gynaes in my suite. 3 seniors and 2 juniors.
Together with my 2 mid-wives.
my leg was opened widely.
they pushed my legs up. everyone was infront of me watching me. OMG! malu eh.
Lucky i was in pain( coz they actually stopped the epi dose to make me feel the pain)
by the count of 3, take a deep breathe in,
And pushed, hold for 10 secs.
That pushing techniques really make  me out of breath leyy~!
The gynaes and nurses cheered for me like as if i was competing in a marathon. hehe!
After 7 pushes, i feel something glide out of me.
And after that, the whole room filled with his cries.
I cried the moment i saw him out of me.
The feeling was surreal… Alhamdulillah ya Allah..I am a mother ;’(

At 6.32pm on 26th December 2011, you make your first appearance to see Umi and Baba.
You weigh 3.012kg
You are 50cm tall
Your head circumference is 33cm.
Welcome to the World my dearest son.

I love you the moment i saw you.
You are totally perfect in my eyes.
I promise to take care of you till my last breath.
I pray that you will be a good muslim, clever and healthy lil boy.
I always want the best of you.
Umi loves you sayang.

To the Husband,
Thank you for being who you are. A supportive and caring husband. Thank you for accompanying me for check up thruout my pregnancy and being with me thruout my labour.  <3 u!

And so, Syukur ke hadrat Allah SWT, we are a family now.
Presenting our newborn, Mohammad Rizq Fida’iy BIn Mohammad Fiezwan

Dear Daddy Fiezwan,

can we bring Baby F to the babyspa after the confinement mth??
they say baby spa is good for baby’s growth and brain u know??
it circulates their blood well. ))))))) plsss…??

a friend of mine, is admitted today for induced labour.
She’s at her 37 weeks of pregnancy. And im 35 weeks today.
So i guess, labour can be anytime after 36 weeks (full term).

at times i cant sleep at night and ‘day-dream’.
husb asked me, why am i not sleeping?
i told him, im scared and imagining myself in labour.
I am afraid of the pain. really. Coz i know my threshold of pain is very very low.
Having Diarrhoea is enough to make me feel so weak and i feel like dying. hahahha.

And now, im talking about labour! (??)

but at the same time, i cant wait to see the this lil boy of mine.
So i told myself, im gonna face the pain.
Coz at the end of the day, im gonna see  a baby out of me.
and best thing, he is mine to bring home!

sooo.. ENDUREEEE!

I am not trying to brag or complain about my life.
syukur alhamdulillah. Things happened the way i always want it to be
In another words, ALLah always listen to my prayers.
however, not all things goes the way that we want it to be

I dunno if it is just me. As u know, being pregnant means lots of emotions involved.
I cried easily, i got hurt easily and i cant control my feelings.

Well, i think the husband is too busy with his work.
He end work at late night when its his afternoon shift. and when he went for his night shift,
that means im not gonna see him.
coz the very next day when he came back from work, i’ll be off to work.

what really pissed me off is, when it is his off day, he would rather go for some takraw or football
game with his friends.
And at times, his normal routine, JOGGING.
he jogged for like few hrs ok.
yes, i know its for his own good. He’s not flirting around or whatsoeva!

 But STILL! why cant those off days be spent on me.
I dont ask for cash, branded stuff or anything else.
Just want his TIME for me. Thats all i asked for.
But i dun dare to bring up this matter to him.

I just hope he knows what i scarificed for him.
The time that supposed to be for me, i just let it go for him to do things he enjoyed.
MY only hope is for him to come back home everyday and wont go out again when he saw his son(soon).
*griiins*

Am i being selfish? Yes?
I guess not. I just want what is supposed to be mine.
)

No matter how angry i am at you. NO matter how disappointed i am in you,
MOHAMMAD FIEZWAN,

I truly love u. The love that never fade since 8 years ago.
I hope that we could maintain this love till eternity.

I still want to have you and Baby F to be with me in my next life.

I LOVE YOU!

As of now, me and hubby have most of the things for Baby F ready awaiting for his arrival.

His crib is already set up.
pillows, bolsters, bedsheet etc
Milk bottles.
Baby’s washing detergent.
Powder, shampoo, baby bath, minyak telon, lotion powder etc
baby rompers.  mittens. cap.
pyjamas.
swaddle
Baby Bjorn carrier

even got his Manchester United Jersey rompers.
cupboard from Ikea specially to stuff all his clothes and stuff.

some of things we already prepared for him.

yes yes i noe, still got so much things i left out.
Frankly, I dunno whether its still to early to purchase stuff like the strollers and all.
so yah. dats why i hold on from buying some of it.

and btw, auntie syahidah and uncle yan wanted to sponsor Baby F with the stroller.
How sweet. ~
Baby F : Auntie syahidah, if you are reading this, pls dun purchase the Ferrari stroller that my Umi used to mentioned in her previous post. Coz she told me, she will feel reallllyyy bad if you were to buy that for me

However, i still plan to get some things for him. must wait for payday hor.

so far, these are the few things i wanted to buy for him.

Im still searching for a ‘tukang urut’, the breast pump, the bottles steriliser and the list goes on and on.

i need your prayers people. Pls pray for my smooth delivery.
Meantime, do take care!

sooo… im finally on my 3rd Trimester!
2 more mths to go. Good Luck to me !

nothing much to blog about actually.
everything seems to be the same routine everyday
work, eat, watch tv, sleep.
i did what u did everyday too. hee!

lately, i can actually feel some kind of mild contractions.
i dunno whether is that the contractions im gonna feel during the real labour.
But i roughly figured out/ expect what to feel.
but of course i noe its gonna be worst!
ohhh god! nervous or wattt?!

while im typing this, dear husb is watching Liverpool vs Norwich.
(booooriiing) lol.

what else??

OOOH! Family is gonna organise chalet stay during the HAri Raya Haji Holiday.
in short, we’ll be celebrating Raya HAji @ chalet. (tak pernah org buat )
reason is because we dun have any ‘seniors’ for raya haji visiting.
We used to visit my grandma on Hari Raya Haji, but since she’s no longer around, we shall just celebrate
Hari Raya Haji ‘ ala-kadar’ je )

Okay. i think im getting sleepy.
and tummy is not feeling that good.
I shall rest now.
to u who read this, Take good care of urselves and enjoy ur weekend!